Monday, July 30, 2007

Young Blue Eyes Is Back!

Forgive me for taking so long to update you on the exploits of baby Gideon Tyree.

Our pride and joy turned 6 months old on Labor Day. He’s happy, healthy, 20-plus pounds, above average in length, and the life of the party.

Gideon still has reddish hair, a testament to his Scots-Irish heritage. You should see the “Riverdance” routine he does when he gets excited. Just don’t stand too close, as he makes his own “river.”

As first-time parents, Melissa and I were unprepared for how much Gideon dominates our time and space. I thought the living room floor was crowded even before we added his swing, bouncy seat, playpen, and ExerSaucer. I’ve decided that athletes with kids have an unfair advantage in the Olympic pole vault.

Spare time? I used to think I had it rough when I dragged in from work only to be presented with a “Honey Do” list. Now it’s a “Honey Do List That Gideon Threw Up On.”

But I’m not complaining. I forget about all my problems when I hear Gideon’s squeals of delight as I hoist him into the air, kiss his ears, or give him the “raspberry.” There’s nothing like that squeal of delight -- except for the squeals from sales clerks when they see another sucker about to pay NBA prices for teeny, tiny shoes.

Gideon watches everything, but right now he’s particularly fascinated by ceiling fans. Yes, he likes to see something going around in circles and dealing with hot air all day. I hope he’s that enthusiastic for the concept when he gets his first job.

Some childhood interests will define a career while others fade away. One must decide which interests are most appropriate for the grown-up world. (“If it pleases the court, I submit that the germane precedent can be found in the case of Pooh vs. Tigger.”)

Gideon loves books. He knows they can take him to exotic places – like the emergency room, if he doesn’t quit chewing them. (“The New York Times says ‘My Pet Duck’ is riveting, provocative, and goes great with strained carrots.”)

For the sake of his eyes and attention span, we’re not letting Gideon watch TV until he’s at least two years old. We want to focus on more educational pursuits, like seeing how tadpoles turn to frogs, how caterpillars turn to butterflies, how Daddy’s brains turn to mush after hearing “She’ll Be Coming ‘Round The Mountain” for the 475th time…

Gideon shows signs of being a collector, like his dear old Dad. I just hope he isn’t too disappointed if he ever goes on “Antiques Roadshow.” (“Uh, I’m sorry, but there’s not really a market value for big clumps of fur yanked off of Dodsey the cat.”)

Melissa and I are trying to enjoy Gideon while he’s just rolling and crawling. He’s already plotting his priority list of things to grab once he can walk: scissors, fragile glassware, butcher knives, credit card numbers, thermonuclear devices, etc.

We’re trying not to obsess over possible telltale signs of a gifted child. Although… Gideon does show a talent for throwing things in the floor, being helpless by himself, and sticking his foot in his mouth.

Yes, you guessed it. He’s already ahead of the curve on making someone a fine husband someday!

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