Swimmin' Pools, Movie Stars, Memorial Services
Well, doggies -- I wonder if sowbelly and dandelion greens were among the vittles mourners brought to the funeral home?
What am I talking about? Simple. Paul Henning, who created “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “Petticoat Junction” (and served as executive producer of “Green Acres”) recently passed away, at age 93.
Henning said the Clampett clan was inspired by childhood camping trips to the Ozarks. This contrasts with FOX programmers, whose shows are inspired by childhood experiences of plagiarizing term papers.
Henning entertained up to 60 million viewers a week with cement ponds, “billyard tables,” Dash Riprock, Mr. Drysdale, Jane Hathaway, Hooterville, Bugtussle, and other characters and concepts. But critics hated “The Beverly Hillbillies,” and it never won a single Emmy Award. Emmy voters, understandably, were more interested in lauding “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” which shook off moribund Eisenhower-era morality and asked sophisticated philosophical questions such as “Will he trip over the ottoman this week?”
“The Beverly Hillbillies” was very much a product of its more innocent times. I shudder to think what it would be like if created today.
* The theme song reference to how Jed Clampett “barely kept his family fed” would now be “removed his family’s feeding tube.”
* Elly May tries giving CPR to one of her critters, only to discover that it’s Donald Trump’s hair.
* “So they loaded up 75 undocumented workers and moved to Beverly…Hills, that is…”
* Instead of mistaking a kangaroo for a giant jackrabbit, Granny mistakes it for a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Guest star Pres. Bush sends troops into the midst of the Iraqis “to have a heapin’ helpin’ of their hospitality.”
* Instead of singing “Throw Out The Life Line,” Granny sings “Throw Out The Liberal Activist Judges Who Are Perverting The Constitution.”
* Jethro Bodine purchases a Sony PlayStation and watches his vaunted sixth-grade education evaporate.
* “Set a spell. Take your overpriced shoes endorsed by Michael Jordan off…”
* Sponsor Kellogg’s (of Battle Creek, Michigan) becomes Kellogg’s of Give Negotiations A Chance Creek, Michigan.
* Jed whittles shivs for Martha Stewart to use in prison, and goes hunting with his ferret, Ol’ Duke.
* Hoedown, lap dance … it’s all the same when you’re full of Granny’s white lightnin’.
One of the most traumatic events of my life happened in 1971. I was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, reading an article about “Granny” actress Irene Ryan. She was mad as a wet hen that those goomers at CBS had just canceled the Hillbillies, as part of a purge that also eliminated such rural programs as “Hee-Haw” and “Mayberry, RFD.” The bottom line was that the city slickers at the network commenced to cipherin’ and figgered out that fans of rural shows were jist too dadgummed ignorant to do their duty and fall for the sponsors’advertisments, hook, line, and sinker.
Still, after 34 years, I’m proud to be a Hillbillies fan. I treasure the Hillbillies lunchbox purchased at a yard sale. The phrase “dumb old girl cousin” still slips out every now and then. When my in-laws come onto their deck to wave goodbye, I tell Melissa, “It’s time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.”
And now, alas, it’s time to say goodbye to Jed and his creator. Their kind will never come back now, ya hear?
What am I talking about? Simple. Paul Henning, who created “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “Petticoat Junction” (and served as executive producer of “Green Acres”) recently passed away, at age 93.
Henning said the Clampett clan was inspired by childhood camping trips to the Ozarks. This contrasts with FOX programmers, whose shows are inspired by childhood experiences of plagiarizing term papers.
Henning entertained up to 60 million viewers a week with cement ponds, “billyard tables,” Dash Riprock, Mr. Drysdale, Jane Hathaway, Hooterville, Bugtussle, and other characters and concepts. But critics hated “The Beverly Hillbillies,” and it never won a single Emmy Award. Emmy voters, understandably, were more interested in lauding “The Dick Van Dyke Show,” which shook off moribund Eisenhower-era morality and asked sophisticated philosophical questions such as “Will he trip over the ottoman this week?”
“The Beverly Hillbillies” was very much a product of its more innocent times. I shudder to think what it would be like if created today.
* The theme song reference to how Jed Clampett “barely kept his family fed” would now be “removed his family’s feeding tube.”
* Elly May tries giving CPR to one of her critters, only to discover that it’s Donald Trump’s hair.
* “So they loaded up 75 undocumented workers and moved to Beverly…Hills, that is…”
* Instead of mistaking a kangaroo for a giant jackrabbit, Granny mistakes it for a Weapon of Mass Destruction. Guest star Pres. Bush sends troops into the midst of the Iraqis “to have a heapin’ helpin’ of their hospitality.”
* Instead of singing “Throw Out The Life Line,” Granny sings “Throw Out The Liberal Activist Judges Who Are Perverting The Constitution.”
* Jethro Bodine purchases a Sony PlayStation and watches his vaunted sixth-grade education evaporate.
* “Set a spell. Take your overpriced shoes endorsed by Michael Jordan off…”
* Sponsor Kellogg’s (of Battle Creek, Michigan) becomes Kellogg’s of Give Negotiations A Chance Creek, Michigan.
* Jed whittles shivs for Martha Stewart to use in prison, and goes hunting with his ferret, Ol’ Duke.
* Hoedown, lap dance … it’s all the same when you’re full of Granny’s white lightnin’.
One of the most traumatic events of my life happened in 1971. I was sitting in the doctor’s waiting room, reading an article about “Granny” actress Irene Ryan. She was mad as a wet hen that those goomers at CBS had just canceled the Hillbillies, as part of a purge that also eliminated such rural programs as “Hee-Haw” and “Mayberry, RFD.” The bottom line was that the city slickers at the network commenced to cipherin’ and figgered out that fans of rural shows were jist too dadgummed ignorant to do their duty and fall for the sponsors’advertisments, hook, line, and sinker.
Still, after 34 years, I’m proud to be a Hillbillies fan. I treasure the Hillbillies lunchbox purchased at a yard sale. The phrase “dumb old girl cousin” still slips out every now and then. When my in-laws come onto their deck to wave goodbye, I tell Melissa, “It’s time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin.”
And now, alas, it’s time to say goodbye to Jed and his creator. Their kind will never come back now, ya hear?
posted by Danny Tyree at 7:10 PM
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