All That Disneyland Jazz
On May 5 Disneyland begins the official celebration of its 50th anniversary.
A mere half-century ago, skeptics were laughing at Walt Disney’s crazy dream. Okay, they were laughing at the crazy dream about Walt skipping school all year but still delivering the valedictory speech, wearing only mouse ears, not the crazy dream about turning his movie empire into a theme park empire, but that’s beside the point.
The original section of the world-famous theme park cost $17 million and was built on 160 acres of orange grove near Anaheim, California. In other words, the region went from squeezing citrus fruit to squeezing tourists.
Come on, let’s cut the company some slack. The song “It’s A Small World After All” has resonated at the park since 1966. Indeed, Disneyland has done much to further the brotherhood of man. After you lay out the money for a 3-day visit, you know just how a Third World peasant feels.
You’ve gotta admit they have a great setup for a business. If you find mouse droppings in the food, you don’t get to sue; they charge you for souvenirs.
Disney executives feel justified in charging what the market will allow, after their failure with a scaled-back “value menu” of attractions. People just didn’t go for Pinocchio (the wooden boy whose nose grows when he tells a lie) becoming Pinocchio the wooden boy with the deviated septum. Likewise, they avoided Sleeping Beauty’s Castle when wicked Queen Maleficent was replaced with that cranky old lady from the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Other failed attractions:
* Jaywalkers of the Caribbean
* Snow White and the 7 Laid-Off Keebler Elves
* Roadkill Country Bear Jamboree
Disneyland has maintained its reputation as “the happiest place on earth,” even though there has been competition in the geopolitical realm (“North Korea: the happiest place on earth – or else!!”) and even though nowadays when you wish upon a star, some poor sucker has already paid $39.95 to have it named after him.
Disneyland has stirred our imaginations and warmed our hearts even while fighting distractions such as the persistent urban legend about Walt Disney being frozen after his 1966 death. The rumor was given new life when a visitor overheard a security alert at the supposedly “animatronic” exhibit “Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln.” (“Code blue! Abe is demanding more money! Someone thaw out John Wilkes Booth!”)
The California park carries on, even though it has lost its uniqueness because of Disney’s expansion into Florida, Japan, and France. I think next up is Disneyland Tennessee. (“Officer, there’s a perfectly good reason my pickup truck rear-ended the Monorail car.”)
Disneyland has managed to stay up to date. In Frontierland, visitors used to find out more about their forefathers. Now youngsters employ modern DNA testing to sort out their four fathers. Main Street U.S.A. is now This Building For Rent, U.S.A. Religious fundamentalists have Are-You-Sure-There’s-A-Tomorrow? Land. For those interested in global warming, there’s the Matterhorn Water Skiing ride. The Haunted Mansion is now known as “Scott Peterson: The Adventure Continues.”
I feel confident that Disneyland will still be going strong in another 50 years. But maybe the ad campaign will go a step beyond the one that launched in 1987. (“Joe Blow, you just took your family to Disneyland. What are you going to do next?” “I’m going to the poor house!”)
A mere half-century ago, skeptics were laughing at Walt Disney’s crazy dream. Okay, they were laughing at the crazy dream about Walt skipping school all year but still delivering the valedictory speech, wearing only mouse ears, not the crazy dream about turning his movie empire into a theme park empire, but that’s beside the point.
The original section of the world-famous theme park cost $17 million and was built on 160 acres of orange grove near Anaheim, California. In other words, the region went from squeezing citrus fruit to squeezing tourists.
Come on, let’s cut the company some slack. The song “It’s A Small World After All” has resonated at the park since 1966. Indeed, Disneyland has done much to further the brotherhood of man. After you lay out the money for a 3-day visit, you know just how a Third World peasant feels.
You’ve gotta admit they have a great setup for a business. If you find mouse droppings in the food, you don’t get to sue; they charge you for souvenirs.
Disney executives feel justified in charging what the market will allow, after their failure with a scaled-back “value menu” of attractions. People just didn’t go for Pinocchio (the wooden boy whose nose grows when he tells a lie) becoming Pinocchio the wooden boy with the deviated septum. Likewise, they avoided Sleeping Beauty’s Castle when wicked Queen Maleficent was replaced with that cranky old lady from the Department of Motor Vehicles.
Other failed attractions:
* Jaywalkers of the Caribbean
* Snow White and the 7 Laid-Off Keebler Elves
* Roadkill Country Bear Jamboree
Disneyland has maintained its reputation as “the happiest place on earth,” even though there has been competition in the geopolitical realm (“North Korea: the happiest place on earth – or else!!”) and even though nowadays when you wish upon a star, some poor sucker has already paid $39.95 to have it named after him.
Disneyland has stirred our imaginations and warmed our hearts even while fighting distractions such as the persistent urban legend about Walt Disney being frozen after his 1966 death. The rumor was given new life when a visitor overheard a security alert at the supposedly “animatronic” exhibit “Great Moments With Mr. Lincoln.” (“Code blue! Abe is demanding more money! Someone thaw out John Wilkes Booth!”)
The California park carries on, even though it has lost its uniqueness because of Disney’s expansion into Florida, Japan, and France. I think next up is Disneyland Tennessee. (“Officer, there’s a perfectly good reason my pickup truck rear-ended the Monorail car.”)
Disneyland has managed to stay up to date. In Frontierland, visitors used to find out more about their forefathers. Now youngsters employ modern DNA testing to sort out their four fathers. Main Street U.S.A. is now This Building For Rent, U.S.A. Religious fundamentalists have Are-You-Sure-There’s-A-Tomorrow? Land. For those interested in global warming, there’s the Matterhorn Water Skiing ride. The Haunted Mansion is now known as “Scott Peterson: The Adventure Continues.”
I feel confident that Disneyland will still be going strong in another 50 years. But maybe the ad campaign will go a step beyond the one that launched in 1987. (“Joe Blow, you just took your family to Disneyland. What are you going to do next?” “I’m going to the poor house!”)
posted by Danny Tyree at 7:25 PM
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