Star Wars And Rumors of Star Wars
It’s difficult to write about “Revenge of the Sith,” the final “Star Wars” movie.
That’s because of the way George Lucas chose to tell his 9-part epic. The first three movies were actually chapters 4-6. In recent years Lucas has filmed chapters 1-3. And he won’t be doing chapters 7-9 at all. Hmmpphh! When your Great-Aunt Mabel tells stories that way, they don’t give her directing awards; the family puts her in a home.
I didn’t know how confusing things would eventually become back in 1977, when the first “Star Wars” (chapter 4, “A New Hope”) blew me away. I didn’t have my driver’s license yet, so my late father drove me to the Hi-Way 50 Drive-In and sat through the movie with me. It was a great bonding experience, but I could have sworn I heard a James Earl Jones-ish voice whispering, “Dan …I am your father, Dan. Get a girlfriend for pity’s sake!”
“Star Wars” fans are breathlessly waiting for “Revenge of the Sith” to answer questions about the origin of villainous Darth Vader. Did Anakin Skywalker choose the Dark Side? Did the Dark Side choose him? Or did Paula Abdul have the deciding vote?
An unprecedented number of companies have signed up to use “Star Wars” characters in their ads this time around. With all the fast food being peddled, the phrase shouldn’t be “May the Force be with you,” but “May the coronary care unit be with you.”
Some fans may go into withdrawal pains now that the film series is wrapping up, but at least “Star Wars” won’t wear out its welcome to the extent of the “Rocky” or “Nightmare On Elm Street” franchises. If Lucas kept going, Luke Skywalker would become Luke Needs-A-Walker, and we would witness Chewbacca using a full-body comb-over to hide the ravages of Wookiee Pattern Baldness. The nation’s theaters would be showing “Star Wars XXVII: The Return of the Toaster Oven Without A Valid Receipt.”
The outlook for diehard “Star Wars” addicts isn’t totally bleak. Lucas has revealed big plans for developing two television series, one animated and the other live-action. Of course smaller TV budgets will mean cost-cutting measures, such as replacing Imperial Stormtroopers with even more menacing plagues – guys in business suits playing legislative lobbyists. I’m sure we’ll soon be seeing a blooper special with Obi-Wan Kenobi suffocating under gnats and moths during a Jedi Knight“light saber” battle. Can commercials with Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon ruggedly climbing muddy hills be far behind?
Whether or not the TV projects come to fruition, Star Wars has had a profound effect on American culture. Pres. Reagan’s Strategic Defense Initiative was dubbed “Star Wars” by the press. And Pres. Bush thinks FDR’s promise to Social Security recipients was made “long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.”
I truly feel the Star Wars mythos has legendary qualities, and the characters will still be known a thousand years from now. Unfortunately, as with Robin Hood and King Arthur, myth and fact will become hopelessly intertwined.
For instance, history books will have a rather strange take on Rosa Parks’ struggle for civil rights.
“Why did I sit in the front of the bus? Go ahead! You try sitting in the back of the bus with the fumes from Princess Leia’s hairdo!”
That’s because of the way George Lucas chose to tell his 9-part epic. The first three movies were actually chapters 4-6. In recent years Lucas has filmed chapters 1-3. And he won’t be doing chapters 7-9 at all. Hmmpphh! When your Great-Aunt Mabel tells stories that way, they don’t give her directing awards; the family puts her in a home.
I didn’t know how confusing things would eventually become back in 1977, when the first “Star Wars” (chapter 4, “A New Hope”) blew me away. I didn’t have my driver’s license yet, so my late father drove me to the Hi-Way 50 Drive-In and sat through the movie with me. It was a great bonding experience, but I could have sworn I heard a James Earl Jones-ish voice whispering, “Dan …I am your father, Dan. Get a girlfriend for pity’s sake!”
“Star Wars” fans are breathlessly waiting for “Revenge of the Sith” to answer questions about the origin of villainous Darth Vader. Did Anakin Skywalker choose the Dark Side? Did the Dark Side choose him? Or did Paula Abdul have the deciding vote?
An unprecedented number of companies have signed up to use “Star Wars” characters in their ads this time around. With all the fast food being peddled, the phrase shouldn’t be “May the Force be with you,” but “May the coronary care unit be with you.”
Some fans may go into withdrawal pains now that the film series is wrapping up, but at least “Star Wars” won’t wear out its welcome to the extent of the “Rocky” or “Nightmare On Elm Street” franchises. If Lucas kept going, Luke Skywalker would become Luke Needs-A-Walker, and we would witness Chewbacca using a full-body comb-over to hide the ravages of Wookiee Pattern Baldness. The nation’s theaters would be showing “Star Wars XXVII: The Return of the Toaster Oven Without A Valid Receipt.”
The outlook for diehard “Star Wars” addicts isn’t totally bleak. Lucas has revealed big plans for developing two television series, one animated and the other live-action. Of course smaller TV budgets will mean cost-cutting measures, such as replacing Imperial Stormtroopers with even more menacing plagues – guys in business suits playing legislative lobbyists. I’m sure we’ll soon be seeing a blooper special with Obi-Wan Kenobi suffocating under gnats and moths during a Jedi Knight“light saber” battle. Can commercials with Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon ruggedly climbing muddy hills be far behind?
Whether or not the TV projects come to fruition, Star Wars has had a profound effect on American culture. Pres. Reagan’s Strategic Defense Initiative was dubbed “Star Wars” by the press. And Pres. Bush thinks FDR’s promise to Social Security recipients was made “long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.”
I truly feel the Star Wars mythos has legendary qualities, and the characters will still be known a thousand years from now. Unfortunately, as with Robin Hood and King Arthur, myth and fact will become hopelessly intertwined.
For instance, history books will have a rather strange take on Rosa Parks’ struggle for civil rights.
“Why did I sit in the front of the bus? Go ahead! You try sitting in the back of the bus with the fumes from Princess Leia’s hairdo!”
posted by Danny Tyree at 7:29 PM
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