Bewitched, Bothersome, and Bewildered
Are you looking forward to the new “Bewitched” movie starring Nicole Kidman and Will Ferrell?
“Bewitched,” of course, was a long-running ABC TV series about the comic misadventures of the Stephens family: a pretty young witch (Samantha) married to a mortal (Darrin).
“Bewitched” was an instant hit in the Nielsen ratings. It premiered in September 1964 opposite “Password” and “Dr. Kildare” and finished the season second only to “Bonanza.” I have been unable to corroborate a report that Samantha sought revenge on the Ponderosa bunch by unleashing nosey neighbor Gladys Kravitz on them. (“Abner, I swear there’s something strange about that Hop Sing Cartwright. With that ponytail, I think he’s a hippie or something.”)
When Tabitha was born (January 13, 1966), it was a national sensation. Doting parents Samantha and Darrin were just glad that she had 10 fingers and 10 toes and owed her allegiance to the Prince of Darkness.
“Bewitched” might have soared even higher if not for resistance from fundamentalists. Remember the pesky Old Testament admonition “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live”? I think the general public was satisfied to water down the Law of Moses to “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to eat Jimmy Dean Pure Pork Sausage.”
“Bewitched” also faced opposition from draft-age men, who were sarcastically grateful that Samantha always managed to help Darrin be in two places at the same time but never remembered to end the Vietnam War. (“What??? I didn’t? Oh, my stars! Esmeralda, have you been messing with the refrigerator magnets again?”)
One of the most infamous aspects of “Bewitched” was the change in Darrins. Purists insist that the show started downhill when the role went from the pop-eyed Dick York to the duller, smugger Dick Sargent. The event persists in the international consciousness 36 years later. World leaders at a recent G-8 summit were overheard commenting, “Ah, yes – Dubya, the ‘second Darrin’ of the Bush family!”
Darrin faced enough trouble even without an actor switch. Remember Endora, Samantha’s spiteful, meddling mother? You could probably visit her exhibit in the Mother-In-Law Hall of Fame – unless, of course, your own mother-in-law is visiting. (“Go ahead and enjoy your museum * cough * cough*. I’ll probably be able to call 911 if something happens.”)
For younger folks who don’t “get” the reruns of “Bewitched” on TV Land, I guess it was just a product of simpler times, when we could be entertained by talking horses, Martian uncles, monster families, flying nuns, and midriff-baring genies. I would hate to see it just starting out in today’s world.
Dr. Bombay would no longer “come right away”; you would get a generic witch doctor, and he would come by mail order. High-paid consultants would have to study whether boiling eye of newt affects the wellbeing of newts. With cutbacks in aviation, the animated opening sequence would show Samantha riding a lint roller instead of a broom.
It gets worse. Samantha’s practical-joker Uncle Arthur would probably booby-trap chairs with “Whoopee Korans” and make Howard Dean the chairman of the Democratic Party. What? Oops. Never mind.
Will the movie resonate with today’s audience? As momentum builds for the story of a woman who conjures by stirring a cauldron or twitching her nose, kids may be asking “What’s a cauldron?”
And Michael Jackson will be asking “What’s a nose?”
“Bewitched,” of course, was a long-running ABC TV series about the comic misadventures of the Stephens family: a pretty young witch (Samantha) married to a mortal (Darrin).
“Bewitched” was an instant hit in the Nielsen ratings. It premiered in September 1964 opposite “Password” and “Dr. Kildare” and finished the season second only to “Bonanza.” I have been unable to corroborate a report that Samantha sought revenge on the Ponderosa bunch by unleashing nosey neighbor Gladys Kravitz on them. (“Abner, I swear there’s something strange about that Hop Sing Cartwright. With that ponytail, I think he’s a hippie or something.”)
When Tabitha was born (January 13, 1966), it was a national sensation. Doting parents Samantha and Darrin were just glad that she had 10 fingers and 10 toes and owed her allegiance to the Prince of Darkness.
“Bewitched” might have soared even higher if not for resistance from fundamentalists. Remember the pesky Old Testament admonition “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live”? I think the general public was satisfied to water down the Law of Moses to “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to eat Jimmy Dean Pure Pork Sausage.”
“Bewitched” also faced opposition from draft-age men, who were sarcastically grateful that Samantha always managed to help Darrin be in two places at the same time but never remembered to end the Vietnam War. (“What??? I didn’t? Oh, my stars! Esmeralda, have you been messing with the refrigerator magnets again?”)
One of the most infamous aspects of “Bewitched” was the change in Darrins. Purists insist that the show started downhill when the role went from the pop-eyed Dick York to the duller, smugger Dick Sargent. The event persists in the international consciousness 36 years later. World leaders at a recent G-8 summit were overheard commenting, “Ah, yes – Dubya, the ‘second Darrin’ of the Bush family!”
Darrin faced enough trouble even without an actor switch. Remember Endora, Samantha’s spiteful, meddling mother? You could probably visit her exhibit in the Mother-In-Law Hall of Fame – unless, of course, your own mother-in-law is visiting. (“Go ahead and enjoy your museum * cough * cough*. I’ll probably be able to call 911 if something happens.”)
For younger folks who don’t “get” the reruns of “Bewitched” on TV Land, I guess it was just a product of simpler times, when we could be entertained by talking horses, Martian uncles, monster families, flying nuns, and midriff-baring genies. I would hate to see it just starting out in today’s world.
Dr. Bombay would no longer “come right away”; you would get a generic witch doctor, and he would come by mail order. High-paid consultants would have to study whether boiling eye of newt affects the wellbeing of newts. With cutbacks in aviation, the animated opening sequence would show Samantha riding a lint roller instead of a broom.
It gets worse. Samantha’s practical-joker Uncle Arthur would probably booby-trap chairs with “Whoopee Korans” and make Howard Dean the chairman of the Democratic Party. What? Oops. Never mind.
Will the movie resonate with today’s audience? As momentum builds for the story of a woman who conjures by stirring a cauldron or twitching her nose, kids may be asking “What’s a cauldron?”
And Michael Jackson will be asking “What’s a nose?”
posted by Danny Tyree at 3:15 AM
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